I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
