you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize
