i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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