i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
