I wish i was in the wii world.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Shame - the story of my life.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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