So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
