yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
How external is "for external use only"?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
