just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
