I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
