Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
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Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
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No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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