So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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