If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
