I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
