dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Randomize
