there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
