Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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