she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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