Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
