Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
