Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
