Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
