'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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