well I can't set my house on fire every night
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Randomize
