I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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