I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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