erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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