I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
