capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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