Do vagina's smell?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
