I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
