And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
My vagina is very pro this idea
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
