eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
