i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
