you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
