So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize