how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
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