Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
