Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
