I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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