The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
