I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
