She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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