quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
