you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
