If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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