Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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