I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
