I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
