you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
