Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
