fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
