my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I will be naked everywhere
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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