Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
