i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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