I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize