69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Success! We fucked roommates!
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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