Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
