Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
