My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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