Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
